Squirminator - An Introduction

In the year 2525 man was still very much alive. In fact man, and woman, led a tranquil and ordered existence. Peace and Harmony reigned - which even the most tranquil men and women were heard to opine were pretty wet names for the King and Queen. And how the world came to be a monarchy ruled from Iceland is something I don’t really have time to go into here. Something to do with a disputed election in the 21st century and Viking land claims or something. Anyway it has no bearing on our story, so just forget I mentioned it.

Peace and Harmony were, in any event, just well beloved, if irritatingly named, figureheads. The world pretty much ran itself. People just went about their business in a tranquil and orderly fashion, all under the benevolent eye of the Network. That’s Network with a capital N -or more fully the Network for Social Probity by Applied Natesial Kinesics or SPANKnet as it was referred to, if it was referred to at all. Which it wasn’t, because everybody was law abiding and tranquilly harmonious and had no need to think of it at all.

Well, almost everybody. In reality sporadic bursts of behavioural disruption were wont to break out here and there. While the authorities of some small mid west town would know only of their own vicious attack of cling-filmed toilet bowls when they were caught by the outraged citizens’ backlash - or backsplash - SPANKnet could see the flood of similar incidents around the globe and link it to the abnormally high sales of clingfilm from Tokyo to Timbuktu a fortnight earlier. And deep under the leafy canopy of the extended and replenished South American rainforests rebel growers plied their filthy trade, smuggling their outlawed product clandestinely along old routes, crossing long forgotten borders to keep up the supply of gum to stick on seats and bung up keyholes. And linking all these blows to the heart of Society was the shadowy Brotherhood of Rebels ( And Their Sisters), smuggling their supplies and co-ordinating their attacks of deeply irritating social non-conformity.

The continued existence of this particular piece of grit in the well oiled social machine had for a long time been a puzzle which SPANKnet had been unable to resolve, much to the continuing annoyance of the operations team charged with the maintenance and improvement of the system, and in particular to a past leader, formerly entitled the Director of Operations of SPANKnet. I say formerly as somehow during a minor tweaking of their management structure his title had been changed to 'SPANKnet Managing Executive' and he could no longer crisply initial his memos ‘JLL - DoSpank’. Somehow the new title didn’t have the same ring. No-one had been able to trace where the re-naming directive had originated and the ME suspected foul play....

Thus it was that a decision had been taken to eliminate the Brotherhood once and for all, from the root: and the root was early one morning deep in the heart of [********].


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