My contribution to a.s.s. for April 1997, posted at the beginning of the month, for a change

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My Tail for April

Lord, but she's just so sexy. Look at her sauntering about, pretending not to notice me watching her. Every little wiggle and sway of her supple body just inflames me. She appears to be just aimlessly wandering about the place, picking this up and putting that down, but she never moves from where I can see her. What a tease she is!

She's stopped. There's that little glance over her shoulder just to make sure she's reeling me in with her tantalising line. Of course she is, I've been well and truly trapped, as she well knows, and she's the only one for me. But nonetheless it..it would be....be a bit gauche to just run over and leap on top of her. Gotta use a little restraint..be cool..show her who's the boss around here.

Who's the boss? Does anyone need to ask? Just look at those two rosy red cheeks still glowing with a hot, passionate fire, why you could find them in the dark by the heat they're giving out. And who's responsible for them, may I ask? Oh, yes it may be hours since we played our little games, but your hot little bot is still a-glowing, giving out its message for all the world to see -if all the world happened to be looking in of course, you understand- about how you and I ...er... hit it off last night. In fact now I look at it I could swear that it's even brighter than ever and that's *me* that's lit that fire, yessiree!

But just thinking about it has set me off again, ooh I've got to get my hands on her again, now!! But no. no, casually does it ....amble around a bit first, think about some breakfast, sniff the morning air breezing in - the sort of fizzy spring air that lifts your spirits, makes you forget that everyday routine, the stale surroundings. Mmm yes it sure perks you up, gets the blood pumping, lifts up your ...ahem... well that *would* undermine the casual approach just bit, wouldn't it.

OK, I'm wandering over now...she thinks I'm heading for her, hooked in, ready for her to gaff me when I get close. Ha! Who's going to gaff whom, sweetie!. Tsk, tsk, tasteless sort of simile that but then would you expect refinement from a basic sorta guy like me? Keep wandering about..bit closer now.. yes she thinks I'm going to make a rush for her ..but.. mmm, yes this is a jolly tasty apple, sort of crisp and tangy. Me? Oh yes *I* just came over to help myself to this fine piece of fruit, not any other sort of tasty nibble. Not, of course that I noticed that any other sort of nibble might just possibly be on offer. You thought otherwise? Oh yes you did, too late to flounce off over there. Heh heh heh, two can play at the teasing game, my pet.

Words? Who needs them. The body language says it all as we step out, and back, and circle and move on our own little stage, caged only by our tethered drives, oblivious to our surroundings; flaunt and taunt, offer and withdraw, the sidelong glance giving way to the challenging stare. Come dance with me, my dear, circle around, transfix me with a look. Whoooa! A charge! But nimbly I leap aside and up, up on to the furniture. This, my dear, is a 3D paso doble, see me fly away from the thunder of your passing! And we know how the challenge ends, do we not? Ah, sweet submission, surrender yourself to it, your loveliness, for 'tis but a matter of time.

Let us join together, my dear, what's mine is yours, from the hairs on the top of my head, to the soles of my feet, from the tips of my fingers to the tip of my swishy, as you call it. Ahh, pet names: you are my dark eyed beauty, mistress of my lair: such romance a name may carry. So why they did they name you April?! Well, we know why. Severe imagination deficit, but there you are, we're stuck with it.

Oh, but I just caught a tang of your scent swirling in the air as we play, and it just drives me wiiiild. The big boy's coming for yooouuu...are you reeaaaadyyy. I'm a gonna have that warm red botty..and it's gonna be oh so, oh so bright in juuuusst a moment.

When you grin like that, I can count all your teeth, you know. Your mock defiance isn't going to stop me coming for you, tho' the neighbours might end up yelling back over the noise. Ack, hang it all, anything you can yell, I can whoop louder...this is it...here I come now........

The solitary gorilla in the next cage stared morosely out and sighed. Damn baboons have all the fun....

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. . . . . Umm, happy April Fools Day folks :)

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